Every year 500,000 people seek consultation for more information on having their nose done. That’s 500,000 people who think their nose is too big, too wide, too long, too humped… the list goes on and on. This statistic means nothing to you if you’re the cute girl with the perfectly dainty nose atop her face that no one ever takes notice of, but for us girls out there with the big honkers, we get it.
Having a big nose isn’t like having love handles or too thin of eyebrows, it’s an obtrusive, obvious body part that can’t be fixed with a little extra exercise or the perfect dipbrow from Sephora.
So here you have it, the struggles of being a girl with a big nose.
1. We don’t know whether to talk and joke about it (like the funny fat girl that can always make fun of her weight) or pretend it doesn’t exist
We know we have big noses, we’ve been told by plenty of people that we do, but if you haven’t noticed it yet, we don’t want to bring it to your attention. We have a small mustard seed of hope that you’ve noticed our beautiful eyes, gorgeous hair or cute outfit and maybe it hasn’t stuck out in your mind. Even for me, writing this blog post, I was thinking am I drawing all sorts of unwanted attention to my nose with this post? Bahh… what the heck!
2. Sunglasses are a complete struggle in themselves
We love shielding our eyes from the sun and looking cute in a pair of shades just as much as the next girl, but for us it’s not that simple. We stand at the store trying on pair after pair to see not how they go with our eyes and our face shape…but our noses! In some the gap isn’t wide enough to fit our schnozes, in others they sit up higher than they should, or sometimes it just looks like you’re wearing a large dark frame around your nose to show it off to the world.
3. Think having a sunburn is embarrassing? Imagine the raccoon eyes people get with sunglasses but worse.
If you’re one of us unfortunate souls with a big nose, you know all too well what it looks like to have a sun burnt face. Red all over with a little white outline around your biggest feature. The sides of your nose shield your skin from the sun and once again, your favorite body part to hate is displayed above all else.
4. Your vision always has something a little in the way
When you look down to type on your computer or text on you phone, there’s a monstrosity of bone and cartilage clouding the bottom of your view. This does come in handy however when you have an eyelash or piece of fuzz on your nose, because you see it right away!
Everyone loves caricatures, right? They’re a fun thing to sit and do with your friend or boyfriend at the beach and see how much it really looks like you… more like a nightmare. You sit there in a sweat wondering what the finished product will be. Will the whole page be filled up with your large protruding nose while everyone else gets big hair and large eyes?
6. Sneezing for us is like blowing a fog horn all across the land
We aren’t the girls you hear with a cute little “chu!” sneeze like Simba in the library. We’re the girls that rear their heads back and blow. People always look at you like “Wow! What a sneeze!” or for me being a petite girl, they’ll say something to the effect of “that sounded like it blew the life out of you”. I’ve actually almost fallen over before when catering an event and trying to run away from the food in time to sneeze.
7. Pictures are not your friend
As pretty as you may be, you probably fall into one of two categories. Either the girl with the large hump and long nose who looks terrible in the profile view or the girl with the fat, wide nose who looks awful straight on. Either way, in the words of Tyra Banks, you find yourself always trying to “find your light” or move your face to just the right spot where your nose isn’t the focal point.
8. It’s worse to be a woman with a big nose than a man
This is honestly true in all aspects of body image. Men seem to get less criticism for being fat, having a big nose, having a big head, etc. Their features are “distinguished”, while ours are considered ugly. I mean how many times have you heard a guy say jokes about the girl with the big nose or the big forehead? Probably a thousand times. Despite the fact that this whole gender thing is unfair, it stinks that you and your boyfriend can both have a big nose, but no one seems to notice his, only yours.
9. Kissing can be awkward
For the most part, we’ve all mastered how to tilt our head just right so that kisses go well, but they can always go askew. I mean have you ever looked at a picture of a girl with a big nose kissing her friend on the cheek? Unless she angles her head back really far and barely touches the cheek of her friend, you see a big smushed beak up against the girl’s face. When kissing your boyfriend if you try to switch your face from one side to the other too quickly, you get a full on nose war. Either way, it’s just another thing we have to give more thought than most because of the big obstacle that sits on our faces.
10. It never stops growing
Some of us knew early on we had a big nose, but others of us realized in the awkward stages of middle school. All of our lives our mothers had told us we were completely perfect and then some mean boy in middle school shattered it for us, enlightening us on just how big our noses really are. Since that day, it just seems to become a bigger and bigger problem. I mean the nose never stops growing, so who knows how big it will get?
All in all, I think what we all have to realize is that our moms were right. We are perfect and beautiful, big nose and all. Everyone has their thing (foreheads, teeth, moles, etc.)… ours just seems to be a little more out there. And these days, you can do what you want. Although I haven’t had plastic surgery to date, I am not one to judge. I have seen a ton of beautiful nose jobs in my life and if other people can get the boobs they want or suck their fat out, we should feel just as entitled to get the nose of our dreams. I guess most of all, we just need to make sure it’s what we want, that we really hate our noses and that we’re not just doing it because some mean boy told us it wasn’t his definition of pretty.
C’est la vie,