I don’t know why, but there always seems to be this disconnect between men and women. They “can’t figure us out” or don’t understand what we want. Honestly though, it’s really simple. There are a few things we really want in a man. So, I’m here to tell you guys, this is what we really want.
1. We want to be treated equally, but still enjoy chivalry.
This one is always tricky. I feel like guys think if you want to be equal, then chivalry is dead. They tell you to go fight the front lines in war and… whatever other stupid things they try to throw at us. We want to be treated equally in that our opinion matters. We have an equal say in decisions, you walk beside us instead of in front of us and no one wears the pants in the relationship. It’s true, we want you to pick up the check and kill bugs for us when we need it. You’ve got to think though, that’s you making us a prize because you’re happy to have us and valuing what you have. We also give you that same type of respect and adoration, just in other ways.
2. We want romance.
Maybe we’ve all watched one too many rom-coms, but a girl wants some romance every one in a while. All we want is for you to show up at our front door with flowers in one hand and our favorite flavor of Ben & Jerry’s in the other. Or maybe we want to get out of the house and go to a drive-in movie and do something adventurous. This is another area that guys think the pressure is all on them, but we do plenty of things like pick up pizza and beer to surprise you or make your favorite cupcakes for every occasion.
3. We want to be able to trust you.
This is a huge one. I know guys have a reputation for being sleazy and I’m not here to add to that. I think girls can be just as shady and manipulative as men, BUT considering guys do have that reputation, we need you to do your best to combat it. We are all really nervous about getting hurt and not being able to trust you. This is the area that actions truly speak louder than words. We want to be able to tell you things that you would never tell anyone else, experience things with you that you keep to yourself and trust that we are always the only one for you.
4. We want you to listen.
Nothing’s worse than spilling your heart out to a guy for him not to respond or not to remember. You get done telling this long story and hear silence, just to look over and see him staring down at his phone, not hearing a word you said. Or you go on this rant about everything going on in your life and later you reference it and he has no idea what you’re talking about. We make a point to listen to you, so we want you to listen to us. The same goes for what we need in a relationship; listen to our needs. It will make your life a lot easier and you’ll stop having to guess “what we want”.
5. We want you to have fun with your friends, but we want to be a priority.
It’s important in a relationship, that both the guy and girl spend time outside of it. Each person needs their own hobbies and friends and time apart is important. In the same breath, we want to be a priority. We want to be included in your weekend plans, we want to be included in plans instead of added as an afterthought, we want you to want to hang out with us, etc. If all of your friends are hanging out and they all brought their girlfriends and you didn’t think to bring yours, something’s wrong and she needs to be more of a priority.
6. Don’t bring up that “time of the month”.
This is such a cop out! If you’re in a fight with your girlfriend and you bring up, “oh, it must be that time of the month”, that’s ridiculous. First of all, it’s scientifically proven that men also have a time of the month that they are more emotional than others and you don’t hear us telling you that. Secondly, some of us don’t even get moody and for those of us that do, what we feel is still relevant. It’s not like we’re drunk and won’t remember the issues that were a problem the night before, we will because they were relevant and deserve to be fought over. I mean, how would you feel if you’re really upset about something and we told you, it’s just your time of the month, you’re moody so what you’re saying doesn’t really matter?
There’s probably a million other things I could list here, but I think I’ve covered the main issues. In a nutshell, treat us well, listen to us and make us feel like something of value. Is that so hard to do guys?
C’est la vie,
*Note: I’m not bashing my boyfriend in this post, he’s pretty good at all of these. I’m mean I hope so at least, we’ve been together for a really long time.