Before I delve into this topic, please don’t take the title the wrong way. It’s not that I have any desire to be single; after listening to my friends, I definitely don’t. It’s not that it’s hard to be in a relationship. The predicament lies in me being one of the first of my friends to settle into a committed relationship… in that my friends and I are in different places in life. Maybe some of you know this same predicament that I’m in. Here are a few reasons why it’s hard being the only one in your friend group who’s in a relationship.
1. You lose your ability to connect on the one thing girls connect on most… boys.
Sure, you can talk to your other friends that are in relationships, but at my age, that number is few and far between. You can try talking to some of your friends who got married early, but their issues aren’t the same as yours. So if you’re like me, you’re sitting around with your single friends trying to make sense of all of their boy issues. You listen to them talk about dates, Tinder, the rules of sleeping around, whether or not a relationship is exclusive or if you can even call it a relationship. I’m sure I’m naive because I have been dating the same boy since practically the 9th grade, but I swear dating has gotten harder. It seems like you have to play games and drop hints, pretend you don’t want to be exclusive, but then not whore around. It’s all very confusing and I don’t really contribute much to the conversation when it comes to this topic, even though I wish I could.
2. Girls Night isn’t that fun.
The whole idea behind Girls Night is spending time with your friends… whether that be going out, renting a RedBox, going to dinner, etc. In this day and age though, that’s really just not the case. Girls Night is a chance for all of the girls to go out and try to meet boys, for the most part. Girls in relationships tag along for these outings, but they really aren’t that fun anymore once you’re manned-up. Especially in college, you would go out with your girl friends, politely sip your drink as they talked to boys, possibly dance with one of your friends who was less fortunate and couldn’t find a boy and then watch them one by one sketch off to someone’s house. You are then left finding your way home alone and wishing you would have brought your boyfriend along in the first place. Not to mention, it’s not that fun having to fend off guys and worry the whole time that your boyfriend is worried about you.
3. You can’t talk about your relationship problems with your single friends.
Although you really shouldn’t talk about your relationship problems with anyone outside of your relationship, sometimes you need a little girl venting time. Fortunately, my best friend is my go-to girl, but with her being long distance it’s hard. If you ever breathe a bad word about your boyfriend, they don’t forget it. Because they aren’t in a relationship, they don’t see how hard it can be to just walk away, not to mention they don’t know all of the good in your relationship. They don’t understand the natural fights that occur between girlfriend and boyfriend and honestly, they probably have better things to do than to sit and listen to you talk about how you and your significant other got in a fight because you both couldn’t agree on where to eat again.
4. It’s hard to find a balance between them and your man.
Because they don’t have to balance their free time between a boyfriend and their friends, they have plenty of time to hang out together all of the time. It seems to them that you always want to be with your boyfriend, but that’s not the case. It’s just that if they call up a single friend to hang out, that friend can almost always commit, whereas when you call your friend that’s in a relationship it’s a 50/50 chance. It’s awkward knowing when you can/can’t invite your boyfriend or when it’s going to end up being all girls. Basically, it’s constantly a juggling act and sometimes, because it’s easy, you end up spending more time with him.
There are probably a million other reasons why being in this situation is so awkward, but it’s truly unfortunate. Most of my friends are single and they are the best, most fun, sweet girls I could ask for, but our lifestyles are so different. I have to think it’s because I’m only 23 and very settled, which is a pretty early age for that, but then again, I have friends who are married and doing they’re own thing now…
Who knows? Maybe I’m just awkward, does anyone else deal with this?
C’est la vie,